Today is a happy day…today is a sad day. Today is the last day of my old Pre-Ironman life. From this day forward, I will do as best as I can to maintain a healthy diet, and to ward off all alcoholic beverages (except on Sat. nights, where I will impose a strict 2 drink maximum). By tomorrow morning, the days of unhealthy eating and drinking alcohol are gone. If I’m gonna make it to my goals, I just gotta do it. The following is the obituary I have written to signify my observance of alcohol and twinky’s death.
OBITUARY:
DIED October 1, 2006- Mr. Alvin (AL) C. Ohol and his close friend Mr. G. Reasy Foods, formerly of Newport, RI. Mr. Ohol and Foods were fatally injured when a bus of Triathletes crashed into them. Both were wonderful and loving individuals when consumed separately and in moderation. Although, together they often caused numerous problems: drunkenness, usually followed by impulsive consumption of unhealthy food products (Mr. P. Izza, and Ms. Buffy Lo Chixwing). The next day the dynamic duo would normally cause more trouble, inciting gastrointestinal distress, dehydration, and exponentially increasing pants sizes. Mr. Ohol and Foods are survived by a large family of fat building and artery clogging relatives, to include P. Eetsa, Buffy Lo Wingz, Moo V. Popkorn, and Hostess C. Upcake. Former couch potatoes everywhere mourn the violent death of these individuals.
OBITUARY:
DIED October 1, 2006- Mr. Alvin (AL) C. Ohol and his close friend Mr. G. Reasy Foods, formerly of Newport, RI. Mr. Ohol and Foods were fatally injured when a bus of Triathletes crashed into them. Both were wonderful and loving individuals when consumed separately and in moderation. Although, together they often caused numerous problems: drunkenness, usually followed by impulsive consumption of unhealthy food products (Mr. P. Izza, and Ms. Buffy Lo Chixwing). The next day the dynamic duo would normally cause more trouble, inciting gastrointestinal distress, dehydration, and exponentially increasing pants sizes. Mr. Ohol and Foods are survived by a large family of fat building and artery clogging relatives, to include P. Eetsa, Buffy Lo Wingz, Moo V. Popkorn, and Hostess C. Upcake. Former couch potatoes everywhere mourn the violent death of these individuals.
2 Comments:
It is too bad these guys died when I got here! Oh well, I am sure that it will be for the best and that we can still go out to have a good time...sober. Maybe we will remember this time huh?
Are we saying good bye to Cold Stone as well?
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